The Lightbulb of Power
by Linkthesecond
Summary: How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Find out in this exciting saga!
1. The Lightbulb of Power: Chapter 1

The Lightbulb of Power: Chapter One  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of it's characters, although I wish I did.  
  
Linkthesecond: Ah yes, Dragon Ball Z....Oh hello! Welcome to my story! All of this is   
  
loosely based on the joke: How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (The answer will be   
  
revealed at the end of the 3rd chapter). Then this happened. I thought it was pretty funny, so I decided   
  
to publish it. This is my first fic, so be nice about it. And now, on with the show!  
  
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"Goku! Breakfast!"  
  
Goku suddenly sprang awake at the mention of food. He started rushing downstairs  
  
which for Goku, was a task easily accomplished.  
  
"Morning Chi Chi! So where's breakfast?" Goku said as he appeared in the kitchen.  
  
Suddenly, Chi Chi starts giggling. "Chi Chi? What's so funny?" Goku asked.  
  
"Morining Dad, morning Mum" Gohan said as he paddled into the kitchen. When he  
  
looks at his Dad, he also starts giggling. "Guys, what is so funny? Goku asked again. Under her   
  
giggling Chi Chi managed to say, "Goku, you're not wearing anything!".  
  
Goku looks down and realizes his mistake. "Eh-hehe, errr give me a second". Surely   
  
enough, a second later, Goku is back in the kitchen fully dressed.  
  
"What are we waiting for?" Goku asked. "Let's eat!". Goku starts wolfing down his   
  
breakfast. Chi Chi used to condemn him for this, but soon realized that he wouldn't be the same  
  
if he had better manners.  
  
After breakfast was finished, Chi Chi said "Alright Goku i need you to-"   
  
"Go on an adventure?" Goku said, interrupting Chi Chi.  
  
"No Goku, not an adventure"Chi Chi said. "What I need you to do is-"  
  
"Fight some bad guys?" Goku interrupted hopefully.  
  
"NO!" Chi Chi yelled. "Goku, what i need you to do is-"  
  
"Train!" said an inconspicuous voice. Everyone stops talking and looks for the source  
  
of the noise. Suddenly, Vegeta's head pops-up in the kitchen window. Everyone starts staring at   
  
Vegeta. "What, was it something I said?" asked Vegeta. Everyone continues to stare directly at   
  
Vegeta. "Fine!" Vegeta says in frustration. "It's obvious I'm not wanted here, so I'll just go-"  
  
"Train?" Goku, Gohan, and Chi Chi say mockingly toward Vegeta.  
  
"Yes! Tra- hey wait a minute!" Getting angry, Vegeta rushs at the window, hits it, and starts   
  
sliding down it. Goku and family start laughing as Vegeta stalks off.  
  
"So Chi Chi, what was it you wanted me to do?" Goku asked. "I need you to change the   
  
lightbulb in the garage" Chi Chi blurted out. "Is that all?" he asked "Well, i guess i could make   
  
that an adventure.." "NO Goku do NOT make this an adventure" Chi Chi said. " Aww but Chi Chi..."  
  
complained Goku. "No "buts" Goku! Just take this lightbulb and screw it in the socket! Please!"she   
  
pleaded.   
  
Chi Chi then hands Goku a lightbulb that, oddly enough, looks alot like a Dragonball. "Oooohhhh  
  
shiiiinyyy"Goku said in awe. Chi Chi said ,"Goku that's just the light reflecting off it". "This lightbulb is puls-  
  
ating with awesome power."Goku said, ignoring what Chi Chi had said. "Goku, just go screw it in." ,she said.   
  
"Okay!"Goku replied as he starts prancing away, singing "Adventure time adventure time.....".  
  
"I sure hope he doesn't somehow kill himself..."Chi Chi said in worry. "Aw c'mon Mom,"Gohan   
  
replied. "What could Dad possibly do to hurt himself?"  
  
As if to answer his question, they hear a thumping noise, followed by "Ow! Stupid door!"  
  
"That.", Chi Chi replied.  
  
Then they hear "KA-ME-HA-ME-HAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"And that"she said in an exasperated tone.  
  
"I'll go help him"said Gohan.  
  
  
  
Cue DBZ Commentator voice: Will Goku ever screw in the lightbulb? Will Gohan get there in time to help him?  
  
Will I ever get laid? Find out, on the next episode of The Lightbulb of Power!  
  
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Linkthesecond: Ah! Job well done! I hope. Don't forget to review! 


	2. The Lightbulb of Power: Chapter 2

The Lightbulb of Power: Chapter 2  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of it's counterparts. Although I wish I did.  
  
DBZ Commentator voice: Last time on Dragon Ball Z..  
  
Linkthesecond: Ok! That's quite enough of that! I'll take over from here. *clears throat*Ladies  
  
and gentlemen! Welcome to the second chapter of this exciting saga! In the last chapter, we watched as  
  
Goku degraded himslef in front of (hopefully) millions of people on Fanfiction.Net. And now, on with the  
  
fic! (Remember to read Chapter 1 first! If you have not then, well, you might not understand this)  
  
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"Damn door deserved it....". "Alright alright! Dad! I get it!". "Well, as long as know it was the  
  
right thing...", "Let's get down to business shall we?" Goku said enthusiastically  
  
They had entered the garage, it was cold, damp, and, well, cold. "I love adventure." Goku said.  
  
Right after he said that, Vegeta appeared in the garage. A few seconds later, a hole shaped like   
  
Vegeta appeared in the wall. "Kakarot!" Vegeta yelled "Don't screw that lightbulb in!". Goku starts wond-  
  
ring why in the hell Vegeta barged into the garage on such short notice.  
  
"Vegeta, shouldn't you be "training" somewhere?" Goku said mockingly.  
  
"You know, there's a funny story to that you see...Hey wait a minute! I came here for a reason!"  
  
Vegeta replied "I came, for your lightbulb!". Goku and Gohan look at each other, then fall down laughing.  
  
"Y-you mean to tell me," Goku said while trying to control his laughter "That you came here for  
  
this LIGHTbulb? That's the stupuidest thing I've ever heard!". "Stupid it may be," Vegeta replied "But when  
  
Bulma says to do something, you do it!".  
  
Goku and Gohan then stop laughing. "Wait, Bulma wants this lightbulb? But wh-" Goku is cut off  
  
by Frieza appearing in front of him. A second later, a Frieza-shaped hole appears in the wall. "Grrr, why can't   
  
you guys use doors like normal people?!?!" Goku says in frustration.  
  
"Well technically, we're not normal people, we're aliens that invaded Earth, and you blew up the door."  
  
Frieza says to his stunned audience. "Anyway, Goku, I came here for your lightbulb". "Wha-? Why does everyone   
  
want this lightbulb all of a sudden?" Goku says in wonder. "My wife told me to get it for her." Frieza said.   
  
"And she wants it because...?" "Because that lightbulb is one of a kind Goku, didn't you know that?" Frieza  
  
said mockingly.  
  
"No, but I want to know what the all fuss is about!" Goku said indignantly.  
  
"Well it goes a little like this....." Frieza began.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
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My wife was shopping for a lightbulb to replace the one that had broken in our garage, when   
  
suddenly,she came across a lightbulb that was glowing with power...  
  
(Interruption)  
  
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"I TOLD Chi Chi the lightbulb was filled with awesome power!" Goku said. "Quiet Goku!" Frieza   
  
says as he punches Goku "I'm not finished!"  
  
(Back to the flashback)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She thought it was perfect for the garage, so she took it. Out of nowhere, another hand grabs the  
  
lightbulb, "Hey keep your hands off my lightbulb!" Frieza's wife said angrily. "Screw you alien! This is MY   
  
lightbulb!" the other woman answers. "Both of you get away! This lightbulb is perfect for my garage!" said  
  
another woman who had just shown up.  
  
"My lightbulb!" Frieza's wife said as she went to grab it.  
  
  
  
"No mine!" Bulma said as she went to grab it.  
  
"Yoink!" Chi Chi says as she pulls up the lightbulb and runs like hell in the other direction, yelling  
  
"Neener neener neener! MY lightbulb!"  
  
(Back in the garage)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow so THAT's what happened." Goku said in amazement "So why are you here then?"  
  
"I'm here to claim back the lightbulb that was stolen from my wife!" Frieza said proudly  
  
Vegeta replied with "Yah, what he said!"  
  
"Hi-yaa!" both Frieza and Vegeta yell as they charge at Goku and Gohan.  
  
Then Chi Chi's head appears in the doorway and says "Goku! Would you and your friends like some  
  
orange juice?" "Chi Chi! We're about to begin an epic battle for the universe!" Goku whined.  
  
Frieza and Vegeta freeze when they see Ci Chi holding the orange juice. "You know, I could really go  
  
for some OJ right about now." Frieza said "Yah, me too!" Vegeta replied. "Well if there having OJ then I'm having  
  
OJ!". Goku, Vegeta and Freiza all proceed to get a glass of good ol' OJ.   
  
"Yup" said Goku.  
  
"Yup" said Vegeta.  
  
"Yep" said Frieza.  
  
A fart sound suddenly rips through the air. "Alright who cut the cheese?" Goku said. They all look   
  
at each other, then at Gohan, who is minding his own business and cutting a brick of cheese. He looks up from the   
  
cheese and says "I was hungry alright?!?!". Goku, Vegeta and Frieza looks at each other, shrug, and go back to   
  
drinking orange juice.  
  
(One minute later)  
  
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After several more jugs of orange juice, Goku and party are feeling extremly tipsy (drunk), and have started  
  
singing: "Oh, Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi HEI! Oh, Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi HEI!". Gohan is just sitting  
  
there, eating cheese.  
  
Chi Chi however, is getting very annoyed by the drunk singing. Then she gets an evil idea. Snickering, she   
  
starts pouring laxatives into one of the jugs of orange juice. She then takes a wheelbarrow full of orange juice to the   
  
drunken group. "Boys! More orange juice!". Goku and party jump at the orange juice like dogs in a parking lot.   
  
"Then Vegeta says "Goku, I'll bet you can't chug a whole jug of *hic* orange juice! *hic*". "Your on Vegeta!"   
  
Goku then grabs the jug that Chi Chi had filled with laxatives, and chugs the whole thing in a matter of seconds. "Haha!   
  
You owe me 50 bucks!" Goku said. "Your right. Here ya go!" Vegeta then opens the garage doors, run outside, and chases  
  
a bunch of deer inside. Frieza starts laughing and says "Wow that's REAL original Vegeta *hic*!".  
  
Goku suddnly feels his bowels shift violently. "Excuse me guys, i gotta hit the can." said Goku. Goku then teleports  
  
into the washroom and shuts the door. Seconds later, a sound like a waterfall is radiating from the washroom. Another second   
  
or two later, Goku arrives back in the garage completly sober "Okay I'm back!" he says as he arrives in the garage. What Goku  
  
doesn't realize is that he has a piece of toilet paper stuck to his butt.  
  
  
  
"Okay Vegeta, Frieza, let's get this show on the road! Hi-ya!" "Hi-ya!" "Hi-ya!" Vegeta, Goku, and Frieza say as the   
  
dash at each other with their fists pulled back.  
  
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Linkthesecond: And cut! Alright people that's all for today!  
  
Goku: Thank God! I can finally scratch my ass!  
  
Linkthesecond: Why would you do that? You seemed fine at the start.  
  
Chi Chi: Hey has anyone seen my laxatives?  
  
Goku: Oh God no!  
  
Linkthesecond : I think I'll stop here before our readers get too grossed out. Goodbye for now!  
  
Goku whiling clutching stomach: Don't forget to review! 


	3. The Lightbulb of Power: Final Chapter

The Lightbulb of Power: Final Chapter   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of it's counterparts. Although I wish I did.  
  
Linkthesecond: Hello and welcome to the final chapter of this exciting saga! Since all of you must be   
  
dying for the end of this, I will show you it. So here it is!  
  
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Starting from where I left off, Goku, Vegeta, and Frieza have assumed the punching position where they  
  
hold there arms back, about to strike.   
  
Now they strike! *CRACK*  
  
Vegeta steps back, after they all punch each other's fists, screaming "Ow! I broke a nail!" as he recedes   
  
next to Gohan, who has given up on cheese and has started eating ham. "Looks like I'm out for this fight!" he says,  
  
trying to be convincing.  
  
Goku and Frieza could care less, as they continue to push against each other's fist.  
  
(Five minutes later)  
  
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*Gohan and Vegeta hit there palms with there fists twice* "Scissors!" *hit palms twice again* "Scissors!"  
  
*hit palms twice again, this time Gohan chooses rock as Vegeta chooses scissors* "NOOOOO!" Vegeta wails, as the   
  
realization of losing hits him. "Hey Vegeta" Gohan asks "Didn't you break a nail?". "Well err, yah, ummm, Hey look!   
  
A fight!" Vegeta stammers.  
  
Goku and Frieza are still deadlocked, trying to push the other guy over. "This is getting pretty boring Goku."  
  
"I have an idea that will spruce up this epic battle" Goku said "Why don't you send a beam to blow up the Earth, and   
  
I'll try and stop you!". "Not a bad idea, in fact, I like it!" Frieza says as he zooms into the sky.  
  
When Freiza is 5000 feet up, he starts chanting, focusing all his energy into one beam.  
  
While Frieza is charging up, Goku (instead of charging up his own beam) decides to do what he came into the  
  
garage to do in the first place.   
  
  
  
He reaches for the lightbulb.....  
  
Freiza is getting close to finishing charging up.....  
  
Goku picks up the lightbulb and starts walking toward the empty socket....  
  
Frieza fires his beam!  
  
PHOOOOWEOOOOWEOOOWEOOOWEOOOO! (That's what it sounds like to me)  
  
Goku, who is completly startled, trys to protect himslef by holding the lightbulb where the beam is going.  
  
*Sound of the beam being stopped*  
  
Vegeta and Gohan from there rock-paper-scissors game and stare in awe at what is happening.  
  
The lightbulb is stopping the beam!  
  
Goku looks from under his arm and sees what is happening.  
  
(Goku's thoughts)  
  
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"Wow I'm more powerful than i ever imagined! I'm stopping Frieza's beam with my bare hand! Now I'll turn   
  
it against him!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Goku starts focusing on sending mind energy through his hand, into Frieza's beam.  
  
(Frieza's thoughts)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"It must be that lightbulb! It's absorbing my beam! Well then, knowing that lunkhead, if I tell him one certain  
  
thing, it will win me this battle!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Goku!" Frieza called out. Goku looks up at Frieza as he says "What do you want? I'm charging here!".  
  
"Screw in the lightbulb!" Frieza yelled to Goku. "Oh, Okay!" Goku says as he pulls his hand away from the beam and   
  
screws in the lightbulb. Of course in doing so, he let the beam hit Earth dead on.  
  
As the Earth starts crumbling away, the lightbulb starts glowing. This glow stretchs all around Goku's house  
  
and the ground underneath it. The Earth then explodes, sending Frieza into space, but because of his little *talent*, he  
  
survives.  
  
Goku, Vegeta and Gohan then look around them, and seeing that there still alive, Gohan yells out "Yeah! The   
  
lightbulb saved us!" "Yeah, what he said!" Vegeta also says. "Good ole' lightbulb," Goku exclaims "Nothing beats it!"  
  
He then pats the lightbulb, burning his hand in the process. "Ach! Stupid lightbulb!" Goku says as he proceeds to punch   
  
the lightbulb.  
  
Vegeta and Gohan yell out "No! Don't punch it!" but it is too late, Goku has succesfully punched the lightbulb,  
  
shattering it.  
  
The lightbulb's protective glow then wears off, and Goku, Gohan and Vegeta all plummet to there death, leaving  
  
only Frieza alive.  
  
Frieza then starts chanting "Aha! I am so smart, I am so smart, S- Ach!" he is then cut off by an asteroid hitting him.  
  
Mortal Kombat commentator voice: Asteroid wins! ASTROLOGY!  
  
THE END  
  
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Linkthesecond: Well, that's the end of that. Time to reveal the punchline to the joke that started it all: One, but it   
  
takes him 3 episodes! Hope you enjoyed my fic!  
  
Frieza (as he's pushed away by the asteroid): Don't forget to revieeeeeeewwwwwww! 


End file.
